Are you struggling to find balance and joy while living with chronic pain? You’re not alone, and while every journey with pain is unique, there are strategies that can help.
Over my 27 years of living with chronic pain, I’ve been exposed to 10 powerful steps that have guided me through the ups and downs of chronic pain management. I first encountered these steps during my time with the American Chronic Pain Association (ACPA), and though I don’t know their exact source, they’ve been invaluable to me. These steps don’t need to be followed in order—choose what resonates most for you and take action at your own pace. Below, you’ll find practical advice, examples, and resources (including videos) to help you make these steps part of your life.
1. Accept the Pain
Acceptance isn’t about giving up; it’s about acknowledging your pain as a reality and redirecting your energy toward things that improve your quality of life.
- Example: Instead of focusing on what you can’t do today, try reframing: “This is my reality right now, but I can still find small wins.”
- Resources:
- Radically Accepting Chronic Pain
- Are You Willing to Have Chronic Pain?
- Pain Rehabilitation: Nondrug Options for Managing Chronic Pain
- This article discusses various non-pharmacological approaches to managing chronic pain, including physical therapy, occupational therapy, and psychological therapy.
- Chronic Pain: Take Steps to Regain Your Life
- This resource highlights strategies such as cognitive behavioral therapy, physical and occupational therapy, and mind-body methods to help manage chronic pain.
- YouTube Video: Tamar Pincus talks about chronic pain, acceptance and commitment
2. Get Involved
Engaging with others and actively managing your pain can give you a sense of control and empowerment.
- Example: Join an online support group or volunteer to connect with others who understand your experiences.
- Resources:
- American Chronic Pain Association Support GroupsPain Connection: Peer Support Groups
3. Set Priorities
When energy is limited, focus on the most meaningful parts of your life.
- Example: If cooking a big meal feels overwhelming, prioritize spending quality time with family over preparing a complex dish.
- Resources:
- National Institute of Aging: You Can Get HelpPain Resource: Chronic Pain Management Through Prioritization
4. Set Realistic Goals
Small, achievable goals create a sense of progress and build momentum.
- Example: If walking a mile feels impossible, set a goal to walk for five minutes and gradually increase it over time.
- Resources:
- Cleveland Clinic: How SMART Fitness Goals Can Help You Get Healthier
- This article explains how to set Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals to improve your health.https://health.clevelandclinic.org/smart-fitness-goals
- Cleveland Clinic: How SMART Fitness Goals Can Help You Get Healthier
5. Know Your Basic Rights
You have the right to set boundaries and advocate for yourself.
- Example: If someone asks too much of you, practice saying, “I can’t do that right now, but I’d love to help another time.”
- Resources:
- National Pain Advocacy Center: This organization focuses on advancing the health and human rights of people in pain. They work to eliminate barriers to care, promote education about pain, and advocate for research funding that reflects the prevalence and impact of pain.U.S. Pain Foundation : Dedicated to serving those who live with conditions that cause chronic pain, this foundation offers resources on state and federal advocacy efforts, aiming to influence policy and legislation to improve individuals’ quality of life.
- International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP): Through the Global Alliance of Partners for Pain Advocacy (GAPPA), IASP brings together patient advocates, patient organizations, scientists, clinicians, and healthcare providers to improve pain management worldwide.
6. Recognize Emotions
Pain and emotions are deeply connected. Acknowledging your feelings can help you process and move forward.
- Example: Keep a journal where you express your frustrations or gratitude. Write freely without judgment.
- Resources: The Mental Health Foundation offers related resources that discuss the interplay between long-term physical conditions and mental health:
- Long-term Physical Conditions and Mental Health
- This article explores how living with a long-term physical condition can increase the likelihood of developing mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing this connection to manage both physical and mental health effectively.
- This resource discusses the significant impact physical health problems can have on mental health, noting that nearly one in three people with a long-term physical health condition also experiences a mental health problem, most commonly depression or anxiety.
- Long-term Physical Conditions and Mental Health
7. Learn to Relax
Relaxation techniques can reduce tension and make pain more manageable.
- Example: Practice deep breathing exercises for five minutes, focusing on slow inhales and exhales.
- Resources:
- Harvard Health: Relaxation Techniques for Pain Management
- Headspace: Guided Meditation for Pain Relief
8. Exercise – ALWAYS CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE STARTING ANY EXERCISE PROGRAM!
Gentle movement can improve mobility, boost mood, and reduce pain.
- Example: Try seated yoga or short walks in your living room if outdoor activity feels too difficult.
- Resources:
- Physical Therapy Guide to Chronic Pain
- This guide discusses how physical therapists can help individuals manage chronic pain through graded exercises, posture awareness, and body mechanics instruction. These strategies aim to improve coordination, reduce stress on the body, and decrease pain.
- 4 Ways Physical Therapists Manage Pain
- This article highlights exercise as a key component in pain management, noting that regular physical activity can lead to less pain over time. It emphasizes the role of physical therapists in prescribing exercise tailored to individual goals and needs.
- Weight Training Exercises for Back Pain
- This article discusses various weight training exercises that can help alleviate back pain by strengthening supporting muscles. Exercises include leg press, leg extension, leg curl, bench press, incline press, lat pull down, shoulder press, biceps curl, triceps pushdown, abdominal crunch, and prone superman. The article emphasizes the importance of proper form and consulting with a healthcare provider before beginning any new exercise regimen.
- 9 Exercises That Will Eliminate Your Low Back Pain
- This resource provides a step-by-step guide to nine posture-improving exercises aimed at alleviating low back pain. The exercises focus on strengthening core and back muscles to support better posture and reduce discomfort. The article highlights the significance of regular exercise in managing and preventing low back pain.
- 7 Easy Lower Back Stretches To Do at Home To Ease Pain
- This article outlines seven simple stretches that can be performed at home to relieve lower back pain. Regular stretching can help reduce muscle tightness, improve flexibility, and support better posture, contributing to pain relief. The stretches are described in detail to ensure proper execution and effectiveness.
- 3 Minute Gentle Chair Yoga For Chronic Pain
- A brief session designed to help you get your body moving from an easily accessible point—the chair.
- Chair Yoga for Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
- A gentle sequence you can do seated, tailored for those with fibromyalgia and chronic pain.
- Gentle Chair Yoga Routine – 25 minutes
- Developed by therapists in the Chronic Pain Service, this routine offers a longer session for gentle movement.
- Physical Therapy Guide to Chronic Pain
9. See Yourself as a Person, Not a Condition
You are so much more than your pain. Reconnect with your unique skills, talents, and dreams.
- Example: Rediscover hobbies that bring you joy, even if they require modifications.
- Resources:
- How to Handle the Stigma of Chronic Pain/Illness
- This article discusses strategies for managing the stigma often associated with chronic pain, including practicing self-compassion, understanding the source of stigma, educating friends and family, practicing acceptance, cultivating a support network, and focusing on personal strengths. These approaches can assist individuals in navigating the challenges of chronic pain and maintaining a positive self-identity.
- Chronic Pain Management and Treatment
- This article provides an overview of various strategies for managing chronic pain, including:
- Medications: Discusses different types of pain relievers and their appropriate use.
- Physical Therapy: Highlights the role of physical therapy in improving mobility and reducing pain.
- Psychological Support: Emphasizes the importance of counseling and support groups in coping with chronic pain.
- Lifestyle Modifications: Offers tips on diet, exercise, and stress management to help manage pain.
- This article provides an overview of various strategies for managing chronic pain, including:
- How to Handle the Stigma of Chronic Pain/Illness
- Eckhart Tolle on Finding Your Identity, Meaning & Purpose in Life
- In this discussion, Eckhart Tolle delves into the importance of balancing ‘being’ and ‘doing’ to find one’s true identity and purpose. He emphasizes living in the present moment to experience joy and freedom.
- Dissolving the Pain Body: Is It Truly Possible? – Eckhart Tolle Explains
- Eckhart Tolle explains the concept of the ‘pain body’ and offers insights into how one can dissolve past emotional pain to live more fully in the present.
- Fartumo Kusow – Finding Purpose in Pain: A Grief Journey
- Author Fartumo Kusow shares her personal journey of finding purpose and identity through grief and pain, highlighting the resilience of the human spirit.
10. Reach Out
Building a support network can provide emotional and practical relief.
- Example: Call a friend and say, “I just need someone to listen,” or join a virtual support group.
- Resources:
- Chronic Pain Anonymous: Support Group Finder
- Chronic Pain Anonymous (CPA) offers a variety of meetings for individuals living with chronic pain and illness. You can find both in-person and virtual meetings through their “Find a Meeting” page. This resource provides information on different types of meetings and how to access them.
- U.S. Pain Foundation: Community Resources
- The U.S. Pain Foundation offers various programs to support individuals with chronic pain. Their “Programs” page provides information on initiatives such as the Invisible Project, Medical Cannabis Program, Pain Awareness Month activities, support groups, Pediatric Pain Warriors, and more.
- YouTube Video: “The Power Of Peer Support And Group Learning In Chronic Pain Recovery”
- Chronic Pain Anonymous: Support Group Finder
Final Thoughts
The journey with chronic pain is deeply personal, but these 10 steps have helped me regain control and find purpose. Start with one step, explore the resources, and take it day by day.

