A Hard Truth for People Living with Chronic Pain
What do you do when you’ve tried everything—and no doctor in your area will help you?
You’re not alone. I hear this question almost every day from people living with chronic pain. I’ve lived with pain for nearly four decades. I’ve walked out of offices feeling humiliated, doubted, gaslit, or simply dismissed. I’ve had providers tell me they “don’t treat chronic pain,” as though that ends the conversation. It doesn’t.
For those of us living with pain, the experience of being abandoned by the healthcare system is devastating. It adds insult to injury. When the pain won’t stop and there’s nowhere to turn, it can start to feel like the system is saying: “Your life doesn’t matter.”
It does. And you are not powerless.
When There Are No Doctors Who Will Help
Here are the hard-won strategies I’ve learned or heard from others in this situation:
1. Document Everything
Keep a pain journal. Write down what you’ve tried, what’s worked, what hasn’t, and how your condition affects daily life. Not only can this help you advocate for yourself, it also creates a paper trail that may be important later—whether for insurance appeals, disability claims, or filing formal complaints.
2. Look Beyond Your ZIP Code
If there are no compassionate providers nearby, expand your search radius. Some clinics offer virtual consultations. Some pain specialists accept new patients with a referral from a primary care provider—find out the process and persist.
You may need to drive (or be driven) farther than you’d like. It’s unjust. It’s exhausting. But sometimes it’s the only path to care.
3. Use Zoom to Expand Your Options
Since the pandemic, more providers—including pain clinics and specialists—offer care over Zoom or other virtual platforms. You might be surprised how far a telehealth appointment can go toward getting you started, getting answers, or just being heard. Ask if telehealth is available, even if the clinic is out of state.
4. Connect with a Pain Advocacy Organization
Groups like the U.S. Pain Foundation, American Chronic Pain Association (ACPA), Pain Connection, or even local peer-led support groups can help you locate patient-friendly providers or offer resources you haven’t found yet. You’re not in this alone.
- U.S. Pain Foundation: https://uspainfoundation.org/
- Pain Connection: https://www.painconnection.org/
- ACPA: https://theacpa.org/
5. Leverage Academic Clinics
Teaching hospitals, VA centers, and university-affiliated pain programs may be more open to innovation—and to you as a person, not just a chart number. Programs like the University of Michigan’s Pain Network or Stanford Pain Management Center have resources and may help guide you toward care, even if you’re not local.
6. File a Complaint. Seriously.
If a doctor refuses to treat you because you live with chronic pain—or dismisses your pain entirely—you can file a complaint with your state medical board. It won’t fix the problem overnight, but it creates a record. If enough of us speak up, it gets harder to ignore.
- California Medical Board: https://www.mbc.ca.gov/Complaints/
- Federation of State Medical Boards directory: https://www.fsmb.org/contact-a-state-medical-board/
7. Turn to Peer Support
Sometimes, the only help we get is from each other. Peer-led chronic pain support groups—like the ones I facilitate—can provide emotional strength, practical tips, and solidarity when it feels like no one else understands.
I lead several free support groups for people living with chronic pain using Zoom and phone, including:
- Living with Chronic Pain through WellConnected: https://www.wellconnected.us
- Chronic Pain Support Group on Meetup: Los Angeles Chronic Pain Support, Young Adults Chronic Pain Support. All are welcome.
Let’s Be Honest
There is a crisis in chronic pain care. Too many doctors are afraid—afraid of losing their license, afraid of treating people who “don’t get better,” afraid of prescribing what used to be standard care. We are paying the price for that fear.
You didn’t ask for the pain. You didn’t ask to be dropped into a broken system. But here we are. So we do what we can.
We speak up. We support each other. We demand better. And we do not give up.
Call to Action
If you’ve been turned away by a doctor because you live with chronic pain, I want to hear your story.
Sharing our experiences can help push for change—at the clinic, in state policy, and at the national level.
📝 Comment below, or email me directly:
- jtomn482171@gmail.com/tomn482171@aol.com
Join a support group.
- Zoom-based and phone groups: https://www.wellconnected.us
- Meetup-based group:
Advocate. Write to your legislators. Let them know chronic pain is real—and we deserve care.
Disclaimer: The views, positions, and recommendations expressed in this article are based on my personal experiences and independent research. They are solely my own and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or positions of the American Chronic Pain Association (ACPA).
Thanks to ChatGPT for assisting in drafting this article.